The Life of a Baptist Monk

I was thinking about what it means to be a Baptist Monk and thought that I ought to share a few of my random 'monk' thoughts with my audience...

You know, Roman Catholic monks get up at 2AM to begin their day - not bad. But here's how HARD CORE I am, when Roman Catholic monks get up, I've already been up for 14 HOURS baby!! See, I get up so early, that I get up at noon FOURTEEN HOURS before Roman Catholic monks are even thinking about getting up. That's how dedicated I am to the monastic lifestyle!!

I sacrifice normal conversations with people so that I might converse with the atheists in academic culture (who don't know how to communicate either). I'll use words such as "cognitive faculties," "eschatology," "rationality." Nobody cares or listens to what I've to say, because they don't understand me.

I miss out on the touchy feeliness of other people - and I MISS IT!! But instead I have to talk to people in a dry and boring manner, why? Because I'm a Baptist Monk. See, it's a part of a Baptist Monk's vow that he won't be cool, you have to sacrifice many things - part of this sacrifice for Baptist Monks, is the ability to talk cool and to be coool.

Instead of watching football straight through the weekend, I have to study and read books, along with going to church during the weekend. (Though, I'd probably still go to church on the weekend if I did watch football.)

I'm so HARD CORE I don't even have a tv!! How HARD CORE is that???

If any of you have any questions on the life of a Baptist Monk, feel free to submit your questions to me... but be warned, I won't answer any questions without praying over them and asking God to give me wisdom in my answer. What does this mean and why am I telling you this? I have no clue...