A-Musing

As I was driving to Fort Worth to meet my friend Mike so we could drive down to San Antonio for the ETS/EPS conference I noticed a huge billboard. The billboard I noticed was for Tommie Nelson's Song of Solomon Conference. Now, I'm single, and I like hot chics as much as the next guy, and I'm not opposed to being married. I'm 28 and engrossed in philosophy/theology, but I have time for the ladies, but... I'm not obsessed with getting married - though I may be obsessed with other things. Why is it that all of the Christian books that sell the most are on sex? Are evangelicals that obsessed with sex and marriage? Why? Is everyone afraid of being alone? This doesn't seem to be a phenomenon among the secular crowd, why is it? I think it's because the church makes those who are single feel as if they are handicapped if they aren't married. It's almost as if, pastors say, "poor single person, don't worry, someday you'll be happy when you get married." First of all, I'm going to say, I love being single, I've done so much that I wouldn't have been able to do if I were married, I praise God that I have and will continue to take advantage of my singleness. Though, upon being in the right situation with the right person, I'm not opposed to being married. However, I'm not going to be one of those people who reads all of the books preparing myself for my future wife, because that is just a bunch of worldly wisdom preparing us for marriage.

Why is it worldly? Well, because there are two types of marriage that I can think of OT marriages which are arranged and NT, in which you have sex when you're engaged and then the husband builds a house and him and his fiance move out of their parents house. So, which type of marriage do the Christian marriage books prepare us for? Neither, because we don't follow either model of marriage. I'm not advocating either model. All that I am saying is that contemporary evangelical books on marriage and dating are a JOKE! I thought about much of this as I looked at some of the book titles at the ETS/EPS meeting. By the way, why is Josh Harris so famous? A little fact, Tommie Nelson's church wasn't big until he did his Bible teaching on the Song of Solomon, and that's when his church really grew. The sad fact of the matter is that in Song of Solomon, the book in the Bible, they do have sex before they are married. In many ways Tommie Nelson butchers the text to get it to say what he wants it to say so that he can support his notion of dating and courtship. I'm not opposed to courtship, just don't try to make a biblical argument for it to me, because courtship is not in the Bible and it certainly IS NOT in the Song of Solomon.

I just hope that the current evangelical obsession with marriage produces some better theology on this issue.


UPDATE (11/20): Perhaps what I should have said is that the cultural norm for the OT is arranged marriages and the cultural norm for the NT was sex while engaged, while the groom prepares a house for his bride. Jesus only condemmed the act of divorce and polygamy, He never criticized the cultural practices of marriage.