Old Skool & Radical Orthodoxy

I must admit, I am a conservative philosophical/theologian, I defend views of classical theism, the creeds, and the rule of faith. I believe that the Bible is the inspired Word of God and that it is inerrant, furthermore, I believe that God has inspired the entire transmission process. Reading the Bible is different from reading a book. Yet, my musical tastes are totally progressive, I like bands such as Deftones, Ministry, Lush, The Smiths, Depeche Mode, The Cure, The Sundays, NIN, The Ramones, Metallica, Alice in Chains, Soundgarden, Rage Against the Machine, etc. What is my point, I would like to consider myself a radical Christian, biblical truth is important for its own sake. It doesn't need to be made practical, it IS practical the way it is. I think about how I would like to worship God in a dark and mysterious manner. I like Gothic churches that are huge and beatiful. I think that we all too often try to put God in a box. In fact we make God into an image of what we want Him to be. Recently I've been contemplating the cost of Christianity. At OU, most of the profs aren't believers, maybe 4 of them believe in some kind of deity, and one of them has actually said that he is going to declare war on religion. Whenever he encounters a Christian student he asks, "Are you one of those freaks?" But this is nothing compared to what the early Christians had to suffer. I recently read about a woman who taught her children the truth of Christianity, and was found out by the Roman authorities to be a Christian. The authorities gave her a chance to repeal and recant her Christian beliefs, and her husband pleaded with her to reject Christianity because her children needed their mother to live. The mother thought that it would be a bad testimony to teach her children about Christianity only to reject it, so she was martyred. I just don't know if I could do that. I don't know if I were being tortured if I would recant my Christian beliefs or not. I tend to think I would, I think that I would probably have the attitude that God would understand. But would God really understand? Perhaps, this is why God wouldn't call me to be a martyr. I don't know. As I thought about feeding the Christians to the wild animals as entertainment and other emperors using burning Christians as torches to light the way, it just made me wonder, how far would I go before recanting to keep my life? I hope that I would never recant, but do we realize what the early Church had to go through? Do we realize the importance of correct Christian beliefs for the early Church? I don't think that I do.